Chance Encounters...

The glimpse of a beautiful young woman catches my eye as I read the paper and eat my Starbucks sandwich. Without starring I do the quick once over...

Appealing shape...

Long legs...

Skinny but not too skinny...

Shoulder length brunette hair that is well kept and parted to one side...

'Very nice' I think to myself while returning to the article on Canada loosing its foothold in China's economic market.
Boring. Next article. Hmmm a new airline startup flying out of Toronto... Boring. Then I hear it... a soft [presumably] South African accent, 'A Grandé Mocha... and a low fat fruit swirl if possible'.

I glance behind me... hopefully not too obviously... it's her! That sweet sound is coming from her... how intriguing!Instantly I desire to know who she is and where she is from... but I refrain from asking as she brisks by me to wait for her drink. I don't want to give the impression that I'm some sort of creep, so I let these thoughts pass as I have in the past with thoughts of other beautiful women.

Back to the paper... where was I... Canada and China. Right... no... new airline right. Slightly distracted with the presence of this person... I continue to read ignoring everything around me now.

...well most everything.

While grazing through the various articles on the page for something interesting to read I finish the last bite of my sandwich. I clean up the wrappers and napkin, crumpling it into a ball. I get up... walk to the trash and toss it out. As I turn and walk back there she is sitting in the arm chair 10 feet away, directly across from my seat. I return to my chair at the table and pick up the paper trying not to pay attention to her; fighting submission to my insecurities.

...there is no way she would be interested in me
...she is too beautiful for someone like me
....

Then I realize that I am looking right at her. Her silky smooth hair partially hiding her face from site as she peruses her newspaper.

She looks up...
Directly at me... through the few scattered people waiting for drinks near the counter.
Our eyes connect... pale blue...
She smiles...
I smile realizing she is looking at me and not someone near me... there is no one around me.

Still smiling she glances back at her paper...
Unable to take my eyes off her... she glances back at me still smiling, catches my eyes again and smiles even bigger...

...embarressed I quickly lower my eyes back to the paper in my hands, still grinning.

I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks... my face is probably glowing bright red now... my heart beating a little harder now. I chuckle at my reaction inside my head. 'What a goof I am' I think to myself.

I try to read a little more of the article but the vision of her smiling face keeps interupting. I glance back at her and there she is, eye's locked on me again. I smile again and stare back into her eye's pondering what I should do next.

'Talk to her you idiot!' is what is screaming through my head now.

I look back at my paper. The debate raging through my head... to talk to her or to submit to my insanely overwhelming shyness. I finally come to a conclusion... one that I am all to familiar with... one that I haven't seemed to beable to overcome... what am I going to say to her? Something witty? ...charming? ...or just stumble to find the words to say.

This is becoming all to tiring... this same conversation... time and time again.

I hate this part of myself... sooo much. Infuriating even. I succomb to my insecurities once again... I pack up and leave without saying even one word. By the time I reach my car the part of me that argues so fiercely against doing anything is gone now leaving me with the feeling of regret...

...regret.

Beta Blogger...

Upgrading... I really don't mind it... infact I welcome anything that can make a task simpler to do with minimal effort exerted on my behalf. I just despise change when you get a warning like...

Please note the part where I lose many of the changes made to the template... *sigh*

Occupational Boredom Leads to...

A slow down on the work load over the last month has left me with an over abundance of time to think about all the things in life... work, money, cars, friends, family, relationships, climbing and the sorts. I have come to the conclusion that I spend way to much time thinking about women...

...it is really quite distracting! ...and at the same time leaves me a feeling of loneliness.

Now the idea of being lonely is not new to a lot of people, much less myself. I have grown accustomed to being by myself while travelling through life... fulfilling any whim within my financial and moral means. Including leaving for Cuba for a 10 day vacation... heading to Squamish virtually every weekend last summer between the beginning of July and the beginning of September.

But lately... this recurring desire to have a significant other there has been preoccupying most trains of thought...

...being involved in some sort of romantic encounter...

...slightly depressing.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
[Robert Frost; Mountain Interval 1916]

Some how this poem has followed me through life...

...Burning Out?

Def: A psychological term for the experience of long-term exhaustion and diminished interest.
[Wikipedia]

Is this what it feels like? ...to burn yourself out?
To do something so much that it's done to the point of exhaustion? There's no way I'm burnt out!
The last three months have been very tiring and I think the continuous climbing/bouldering indoors is starting to take its toll on me. Maybe its the fact that I haven't touched real rock in 2 1/2 months and climbed indoors right through the second half of the climbing season.

...maybe its that I haven't really stopped or slowed down since I started climbing two years ago... not even through the winter. The last couple days I've been feeling sluggish, uninspired and even out of shape. I have been seriously doubting my abilities...

...my diet might be out (more so than usual) and is causing all this... I did after all start taking multi-vitamins again. Probably should reduce the amount of sugar I eat.

I think I just need to rediscover my love for climbing by tying into a rope and actually climb... as opposed to boulder. Feel the wind blowing... sucessfully navigate the sequence of moves... feel the excitement of being that far off the ground... feel confident of my abilities again!

*sigh* I'll stop my mindless ramblings here...

Wii vs. PS3...

I found this on one of my travels through the internet... laughed enough that I figured I should share it with others :D

*for the gamer in every boi*

...*blink*... *blink*...

...I think I'm going to go buy a Wii now! ;)